eudaimonikos | Deer Country IC Inbox

[It takes a couple days for Michael to respond.

Most of that is time when he just genuinely didn't see the message. Of course, he wasn't checking his omni as a beast. Obi-Wan and Ezra got to him pretty quickly, all things considered, so that didn't last too long. Even afterwards, though, he didn't think to check his texts until well after he'd limped his way back home and taken a very long depression nap - easily the longest he's ever slept in his life.

Once he does see it...he stares at it for a while. He feels awful. About a lot of things, sure, but particularly about having made what was already a terrible situation for Vyng and his family even worse. It's very tempting to just ignore it a while longer.

That urge to hide away is probably part of what got him that far in the first place, though. And he knows Vyng too well - he knows he'd just worry.]

Hey.
You saw all that, huh

[Thank god.

Vyng can be slow to answer texts...but Michael gets a reply within a couple minutes of reaching out—]

It's nothing to be ashamed of, buddy You didn't do anything wrong

Pretty sure I killed like a dozen people.

[He doesn't actually quite know what he did; he doesn't really remember being the beast. But Michael knows full well how murderous he was feeling right before it happened, and he heard some things from other folks who saw it.]

[Yyyyeahhh, okay. Fair. Vyng brushes past that in favor of asking:]

Are you at home right now?

Yeah.
I mean, I'm in my compass hole, but that's in the house.

[Maybe it doesn't make a lot of sense to retreat to his little pocket dimension hidey-hole while already in his own home, but it just...feels cozy? He's spruced it up. It's nice in there, and people won't come in unless he lets them.

...maybe not entirely great, now he thinks about it.]

[Michael is talking to somebody who uses chalk to create his own cry corner...in their tent, inside their house. That makes total sense to Vyng.]

Are you up for having company

Sure.

[That's all the answer Vyng needs. After some time, he appears in the house with a barn cat perched on his shoulder.]

What room is the room-hole at

Living room.

I'll just come out, you can't open it.

[He'd drawn the hole on the floor, which made it very easy to just drop down into the little room. Coming out is a tad bit more difficult! Michael hoists himself out of the ground.]

This was stupid.

It was smart when you made it, though.

[Vyng offers a gentle smile...and a helping hand.]

Yeah, save that for when we get Eleanor out of there.

[yeah he had his dog in the hole, what of it?

Once Vyng's helped him out, though, Michael turns around and lifts the warg out of the pit fairly easily. It wasn't that bad!]

Ugh, there we go. I just - yeah, I don't know.

[Francis is his emotional support pig. He gets it. Quietly, Vyng asks:]

Do you want a hug?

[Michael, frankly, is not all that convinced that he deserves a hug. But that's not super new.]

...yeah.

[Those are the times when you definitely need one. Vyng opens his arms to pull Michael close — that is, until he's interrupted when the raven flutters over the couch. The change in perspective is disorienting. But he still successfully closes the distance, clumsy as it may be.

He wraps his arms around his friend's frame...and he holds him tight.]

It's alright. You didn't do anything wrong, Michael.

[The awkwardness is noted, but Michael's too immediately relieved by the hug to comment right now. He sighs, leaning in to rest his face against Vyng's shoulder. It's funny; usually he's the taller one, when he hugs people, but this is nice.]

Feels like I did, though.

[He slowly pats Michael's back the way he does for Billie when he's got a tummy ache.]

You weren't being malicious. You needed help.

[Michael shakes his head, as well as he can.]

I wanted to hurt them. Even before that.

[Maybe he wouldn't have killed that many of them, but he's fairly sure he would've killed some. He'd just been so mad.]

You'd been...like, off, though. All month. I think the blood pollution and negative vibes were making you ill, man.

Ah...yeah, maybe. I can see it looking back.

[It's easier in retrospect. Most things are, he's found, but usually the thing he's looking back on is just...his own emotional issues and bad behavior. The only difference he can find here is that he...genuinely isn't quite sure why he was that upset about some of it.]

I don't know. I was...really upset about the whole Reckoning thing. Everyone going after each other like that. It seemed normal to be upset about. But maybe it wasn't all...that normal.

[Holing up on his own like that for so long definitely wasn't.]

I mean. It's not a bad thing to get upset about — people being dicks to each other. We're supposed to be a community that helps one another.

[Quieter:]

. . . At least, I thought so.

Yeah. [Quieter as well:] Yeah...

[It had been genuinely disheartening. Frustrating, even. The people in Deerington were one thing; they were always like that, and practically robots anyway. But Michael had expected better from the Trenchies.]

But I could have handled it better. Didn't even try to do anything about it, until...that, really zero to a hundred.

Corruption makes it difficult to think clearly. You didn't realize what was happening to you.

I think it's understandable, Michael.

But I should've known better.

[He leans back against the couch, grumbling. Maybe it sounds silly, but he's not just saying that - he's really not!]

I thought I did. The last time this happened, the symptoms were totally different! I thought - if I kept an eye out for that, it'd be fine!

[Vyng loosens his embrace around Michael.]

We've barely been here a year. This is a learning curve. For all of us.

[He sighs, shifting up against Vyng.]

Other people shouldn't have to pay for it. Not for something I fucked up.

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